Though San Francisco may be stigmatized as a health-food paradise, that certainly hasn't stopped chefs around the city from creating some seriously unhealthily amazing dishes (using fresh, farm-to-table ingredients, of course). And so, to make you feel totally terrible about all of your resolutions, we take a look back at our 11 favorite fatty foods from this year (calorie counts included!).
Timothy DeLaGhetto and David So Light Up Houston's Hops n' Hot Sauce Festival
The Inception Creme Brulee Cart, The Mission Approximate Calorie Count: 707 Putting together this Thrillist-created, Leo DiCaprio movie-nodding, off-menu exercise in food ecstasy is easy: just take whatever toppings you might want (we did chocolate cornflake clusters, toasted nuts, and sea salt caramel), and top THEM with YOUR BRULEE.
Deluxe Burger Wild Hare, Pacific Heights Approximate Calorie Count: 740 There're no frills about this, other than the main twist of replacing the buns of a half-pound patty with two full-sized grilled cheeses. It's almost like you came up with this recipe in college. Or after seeing Trevor in Dolores Park.
Korean Spicy Pork Cheesesteak Kitchen Mojo, Potrero Hill Approximate Calorie Count: 1025 Sure, your friend from Philly might question this way-less-traditional spicy pork c-steak (w/ peppers, onions & spicy Korean aioli)... and then he might ask for a bite of it... and then he might eat the entire thing while running from you...
Steak and Oyster Pie Cavalier, SOMA Approximate Calorie Count: 1197 Probably the reason that all British people are so overweight (What's that? It's Americans? Huh.), this version of a pot pie has a pastry shell exterior filled with beef cheek, hangar steak, and ribeye, all topped with oysters on the half.
Menage a Trois Ike's Place, Castro Approximate Calorie Count: 1219 Ike's has some of the best sandos in the city, and the real champion has to be this gluttonous combo of three cheeses (cheddar, pepper jack, Swiss), chicken, and three sauces (honey mustard, real honey, and dirty)... which is exactly how you feel after a non-sandwich Menage a Trois.
Fried Chicken Platter Proposition Chicken, Hayes Valley Approximate Calorie Count: 1224 Showing us that you really can't beat the classics, Proposition Chicken in SF is frying up some positively golden chicken dinners, like this one, which's sided with a buttermilk biscuit, honey butter for dipping/spreading on your body, and spicy cole slaw.
French Fry Po' Boy Boxing Room, Hayes Valley Approximate Calorie Count: 1300 This is awesome, Saints-hat-wearing Chef Justin Simoneaux's secret Creole version of poutine: he slides cheddar-topped French fries slathered in bacon and giblet gravy into a roll, and bakes the whole damn thing. Then serves with a side salad, ya know, to keep things healthy again.
California Gold Mission Cheese, The Mission Approximate Calorie Count: 1345 Combine San Joaquin Gold & chevre cheeses, Dalmatia fig jam, and La Quercia prosciutto. Press that sucker on olive oil-slathered Josey Baker Bread. Consume while drinking a Pac Brew Lab's Squid Ink. Or don't... we don't control you. But if you're already treating yourself so well with food, you might as well go for the gusto.
Ramen Burger OneUp, Union Square Approximate Calorie Count: 1451 It's like a regular burger... except so much better, seeing as a perfectly circular egg, bacon, and a grass-fed patty all get sandwiched between two ramen discs that've been baked and seared in oil... ya know, in case things were getting too healthy.
Giant Donut Bob's Donut and Pastry Shop, Nob Hill Approximate Calorie Count: 1846 What more can we say about this other than it's a piece of fried dough that's about a foot in diameter and probably bigger than your head? Unless you are John Madden, in which case, we are so sorry.
Grilled Cheese Cake American Grilled Cheese Kitchen, The Mission & SOMA Approximate Calorie Count: 18,901 No, this isn't a grilled cheesecake. That would be ridiculous. This is a cake made from anywhere between 34-36 grilled cheeses, with Cheez Whiz flourets (and the option of adding bacon), all consisting of sourdough, cheddar, Havarti, and Jack.