The Cravory caters to our every warped whim

While delicious, even the most exotic cookies can get boring -- unless of course you add "in bed" afterward, in which case they're hilarious. To truly spice things up though, chow down on these custom Thrillist Cookies magic'd up by our friends at The bed!

That's right: in the seasonal spirit of becoming overweight, we shot over some dessert ideas to the San Diegan confectioners on a "quest to change the traditional cookie" -- though considering they're men who bake, it may end up being a Derision Quest. Just kidding! They're great guys, and they'll deliver our great cookies directly to your door in heat-sealed packages, so immediately cop:

The Charcuterie A savory cookie (chef's favorite!) stuffed with prosciutto, goat cheese, fig jam, dried figs, and dried pears -- so many ingredients, you'll never get board!

Appleholic Strudel A strudel based cookie with Goldschlager for some spice, fresh apples, and topped with extra gold flakes -- to finally get a little bling in your grill.

The Darkness Dark chocolate dough with chipotle powder, dark chocolate chunks, and fresh orange zest -- named for what your shadow will throw children into after a few too many.

The Cannibal Cookie They bake up their classic cookie dough stuffed with bits of Cookie Crisp, Twix, Oreos, Chips Ahoy, and Nutter Butters -- enough sugar to get you feeling truly Alive.

If our wonderful creations don't float your boat, we're done, but also, check out 950+ other cookies they've got for sale, hit them up to chat about creating your own, or join their Cookie of the Month Club, something that if you actually got in bed, would make for a pretty decent year.