Burger lair gets medieval on Georgetown's ass

Sesame Street taught us the value of recognizing when one of these things is not like the other -- for example, Elmo's the only one who doesn't press charges after a savage tickling. That dude's into some weird stuff. Differentiating itself from the rest of M street: Thunder Burger.

A dramatic physical and conceptional overhaul of the former News Cafe executed after its owners realized the neighborhood was saturated with similar Italian joints, Thunder's a gothic rock n' roll burger dungeon, with low-hanging chandeliers, wood-beamed ceilings, grungily spray-painted/faux ivy-coated walls, and dog collar-spiked leather seats across from distressed fireplaces, who feel that way because they know their wood can't last. The menu's "95% focused" on their eponymous meat mounds, with a customizable lineup of 10oz patties including 80% lean free range/grass fed beef, venison, a bison job topped with gouda/havarti ("bigger flavored cheese" to complement the mellower meat), and a premium joint made from ground Kobe, which would be a lot easier to accomplish if he didn't just hang out on the perimeter and actually drove like a man. Loving attention's also paid to a mostly American, 24-draft, 10-bottle craft beer list which includes Stone's Arrogant Bastard, Great Lakes' Two Lakes lager, Bell's Porter, and Allagash Black on draft and White in a bottle -- a fact Chris Rock would surely turn into a joke, if his genius hadn't vanished simply by being near Kevin James.

Though it's still in the works, they're also cooking up a "honey nut ale"-like, resto-exclusive beer brewed locally in Kensington, MD -- coincidentally, also the name of the shrink treating Elmo...you got your work cut out for you, Doc!