According to a Slavic legend, Mari Vanna was a warm-hearted grandmother known to welcome in hungry travelers for a meal. But who really believes anything Vlade Divac says anyway? Instead, experience her for yourself by chowing down on authentic Russian vittles in what looks like Moscow's version of Antiques Roadshow: dangling chandeliers, plush armchairs, and Russian tchotchkes
Filet mignon strips in a creamy sauce, buckwheat kasha, and roasted onion make up this Beef Stroganoff, which cannot be replaced with jerked chicken, you child
They select only the briar patch's most adorable young rabbits to stew in sour cream and serve with warm carrot pie
This traditional "Salo plate" features an assortment of salt-cured pork fatback with onion, garlic, Russian mustard, and rye toast, as crackers aren't a thing in Russia, because they hate Putin on the Ritz
Throw on your most stylish ushanka (...as if any ushanka isn't stylish!), and head upstairs to the cocktail lounge, where over 70 varieties of house-infused vodka anchor signature drinks
Behold: The Grusha, with house-infused pear vodka, St Germain, pear puree, and a splash of champagne in an "old fashioned" glass, or what Vlade calls his sick bank shot
Photo by Travis Vaughn Photography