Fake Fruit, Real Booze: Jell-O Shot Fruit Salad

Jell-O Shot Fruit Salad

Chances are that, at some point, you have encountered the Jell-O shot, that brightly hued, quivering jewel of fruity flavor and ethanol. Much beloved by college kids, it’s a rare sight at regular, responsible-person parties. But that doesn’t mean Jell-O shots don’t deserve a legitimate place at the bar—they just needed to grow up a little. So we sat them down and explained that there is such a thing as alcohol that’s not vodka or Everclear, and that it wouldn’t kill them to eat a little fruit now and then. We’re not pretending this doesn’t take time—and a significant amount of fridge space—but when they finally move out and get their own place, it’ll all be worth it.

Note: Making these recipes generates a ton of leftover fruit pulp. Don’t waste it! Toss everything you scoop out into a bowl, then strain it through a cheesecloth to create a killer base for a fruit punch.

Jell-O Orange Wedges

Aperol Orange Wedges

Made with bitter orange, rhubarb and a host of other botanicals, Aperol gives these bright orange jigglers just a hint of mouth-watering bitterness to remind you that, despite the fact that  you’re eating Jell-O, you’re a functioning adult.

Ingredients: 1 package Orange Jell-O, half of a packet unflavored gelatin, 1 cup boiling water, .5 cups vodka, .5 cups Aperol, 6 navel oranges

Slice oranges in half, through the navel. Scoop the fruit out of the rinds using a paring knife or your hands, taking care not the tear rinds.

Pour the vodka and Aperol into a bowl and sprinkle in the half-package of unflavored gelatin (extra gelatin makes for a firmer final product).

Empty the Orange Jell-O package into a large glass measuring cup with a pouring spout (trust us on this) and top with one cup of boiling water. Stir to dissolve the powder, then stir in the vodka, Aperol and gelatin mix.

Set the orange halves on a baking sheet and fill them with the Jell-O mix. Place in the fridge to set for at least four hours.

Once the Jell-O has set, slice into wedges and serve.

Lemon Wedge Jell-O Shots

Ginger Lemon Wedges

Ginger and lemon is a classic cold-curing combo that also happens to be great in a cocktail—whether liquid or semi-solid. It’s a little spicy, a lot sweet and several tons of good.

Ingredients: 1 package Lemon Jell-O, half of a packet unflavored gelatin, 1 cup boiling water, .5 cups vodka, .5 cups Domaine de Canton, 8 large lemons

Slice lemons in half, through the spot where the stem used to be. Scoop fruit out of the rinds using a paring knife or, if you don’t have any paper cuts, your hands.

Pour vodka and Domaine de Canton into a bowl and sprinkle the half-package of unflavored gelatin on top.

Empty the Lemon Jell-O package into a large glass measuring cup with a pouring spout and top with one cup of boiling water. Stir to dissolve the powder, then stir in your vodka, Domaine de Canton and gelatin mix.

Set emptied lemon rinds on a baking sheet and fill them with the Jell-O mix. Place in the fridge to set for at least four hours.

Once the Jell-O has set, slice into wedges and serve.

Lime Wedge Jell-O Shots

Margarita Lime Wedges

Bright, tangy and tequila as hell, these jellied lime wedges are better than anything that ever came out of a frozen margarita machine.

Ingredients: 1 package Lime Jell-O, half of a packet unflavored gelatin, 1 cup boiling water, .5 cups blanco tequila, .5 cups triple sec, 14 large limes

Slice limes in half, through the spot where the stem used to be. Scoop the fruit out of the rinds using a paring knife or your bare hands. This takes some effort as lime fruit is tough. Don’t worry if you can’t clean the rinds out entirely; a little leftover sour fruit works just fine with the Jell-O.
Pour the tequila and triple sec into a bowl and sprinkle the half-package of unflavored gelatin over it.

Empty the Lime Jell-O package into a large glass measuring cup with a pouring spout and top with one cup of boiling water. Stir to dissolve the powder, then stir in the tequila, triple sec and gelatin mix.

Set the lime halves on a baking sheet and fill with the Jell-O mix. Place in the fridge to set for at least four hours.

Once the Jell-O has set, slice into wedges and serve. If you can’t imagine a Margarita without salt, go ahead and sprinkle a little onto the wedge before biting into its quivering awesomeness.

Strawberry Jell-O Shots

St-Germain Strawberries

Delicate elderflower liqueur mixed with vodka and strawberry creates a bite worthy of a refined garden party—or a summer rager.

Ingredients: 1 package Strawberry Jell-O, half of a packet unflavored gelatin, 1 cup boiling water, .5 cups vodka, .5 cups St-Germain, 25 large strawberries

Slice the green tops off the strawberries, then lop off their bottom tips so they stand up on their own. Using a small spoon, scoop out the inside of the strawberries, leaving the hull firmly intact so the Jell-O doesn’t leak out.

Pour the vodka and St-Germain into a bowl and sprinkle the half-package of unflavored gelatin over it.

Empty the Strawberry Jell-O package into a large glass measuring cup with a pouring spout and top with one cup of boiling water. Stir to dissolve the powder, then stir in the vodka, St-Germain and gelatin mix.

Set the hollowed-out strawberries on a baking sheet and fill with the Jell-O mix. Carefully place in the fridge to set for at least four hours.

Once the Jell-O is set, so are your strawberries.

Watermelon Slice Jell-O Shots

Negroni Watermelon Slices

Watermelon or Cherry Jell-O takes the place of vermouth in these nibblable Negroni slices. Serve them to your cocktail snob friends and observe as their Jell-O shot skepticism washes away on a sea of bittersweet bliss.

Ingredients: 2 packages Watermelon (or Cherry) Jell-O, 1 packet unflavored gelatin, 2 cups boiling water, 1 cup London Dry gin, 1 cup Campari, 1 small watermelon

Slice watermelon in half (through the spot where the stem was) and slice of a small round on the bottom of each for stability. Cut around the perimeter with a knife and use a large spoon to scoop out the fruit.

Pour the gin and Campari into a bowl and sprinkle the half-package of unflavored gelatin over the top.

Empty your flavored Jell-O packages into a large glass measuring cup with a pouring spout and top with two cups of boiling water. Stir to dissolve the powder, then stir in the gin, Campari and gelatin mix.

Set the watermelon halves on two small baking sheets and fill them to the top with the Jell-O mix. Place in the fridge to set for at least four hours.

Once the Jell-O has set, slice into wedges as you would a normal, non-jiggly watermelon.

Jell-O Shot Fruit Salad

Jell-O Shot Fruit Salad

Ingredients: All of of your ersatz fruits!

In one large bowl, multiple smaller bowls or a massive platter, arrange your high-class Jell-O shots into a deliciously wiggly pile. Serve to your high-class friends at your next high-class party. Watch as everyone whips out their phones to Instagram your masterpiece. Then watch everyone forget they have phones once they dig in.