7. And, about those boat cruises...
You probably already suspected you’re too cool for the tourist boats you’ll see everywhere. You’re right, you actually are. Luckily, the American comedy theater Boom Chicago can give you the full local experience, in a boat for 10 people, with BYO eats, drinks, and (ahem) smokes. Call them to reserve.
8. Head to the slightly less popular parks
When the sun comes out, Amsterdam’s parks are covered in people -- especially Vondelpark and Westerpark. If you’re more into nature than playing sardines in a can, head instead to Oosterpark or the (worth the hike) Amsterdamse Bos (“Forest”).
9. Don’t buy tulip bulbs to take home with you
First of all, they’ll probably be snatched up by customs (since they're plants). Plus, you can only plant them in the Fall. If you really want your own Dutch garden, almost all the tulip places will ship directly to your house, so that the bulbs arrive just in time to go in the ground.
10. Visiting the Red Light District? Know the color-code.
You should know that there are three types of lights: red (hello ladies!), black (same, but with insta-tan), and blue. Blue is for boy... whatever appearances might be. Not that you need this intel, but tell your “friend” to skip the windows on the Bloedstraat and Barndesteeg if that’s not what they’re after.