The 10 Worst Drivers on 285
Round and round the Perimeter we go, and where it stops nobody knows... err, actually, all two million people on the daily nightmare that is 285 know it's gonna be stopped pretty much everywhere. We also know that according to a major study, Atlanta doesn't have the country's worst drivers (yay, we're 11th!), but what no one can figure out is how that's possible when the absolutely terrible drivers we've identified below are out there, right now, making your commute even worse. These are the 10 worst drivers on 285...
The business traveler in the rental who just left Hartsfield
He’s just flown in from Topeka, and he’s itching to get to the GWCC for that chiropractor’s convention, but he didn’t pay the extra $8 a day for GPS in his Toyota Sequoia, so now he's trying to merge with one eye on a page from Mapquest he printed out at home, and the other eye on... OMG, DUDE CHECK YOUR FRIGGING BLIND SPOT!
Where you’ll find him: Camp Creek Parkway
The woman in the BMW trying to exit from the middle lane
Mindy has just got to make it on to 400 South. Because, like, how else is she going to get to that trunk show at Phipps? So, look, she's getting over and ya’ll are just going to have to wait behind her, mkay?
Where you’ll find her: Peachtree/Dunwoody
The guy who thinks he can back up the exit ramp
Oh, you didn’t realize that Highway 78 was going to be backed up at 5:30pm on a Friday? Then be our guest, start reversing on the shoulder of the exit ramp, 'cause obviously none of us had ever even thought of that.
Where you’ll find him: Highway 78
Breaker, breaker, we've got a convoy of big rigs hauling oranges and pigs feet from Florida to Pittsburgh, and they're about to make your commute stink instead of just... well, stink.
Where you'll find them: South Atlanta Road
Every single person complaining about traffic on Facebook/Twitter
First of all, social media is for making your "friends" jealous of the sweet vacation you took, or the sweet new restaurant you went to last night. Second, one of the reasons traffic sucks is because you just caused a wreck while posting a status update about how traffic sucks. Clearly, it's YOU that sucks. #STOPHASHTAGGING
Where you’ll find them: Anywhere on the Top End
The fast and infuriating
That faint whine in the distance is quickly replaced by a deafening scream as three Yamahas blow by you on all sides. The Cobb County police don’t even bother to give chase. No need to, someone will be scraping those dudes off the wall in Forest Park in a few minutes, anyway.
Where’ll you find them: Trying to do the entire 64 miles in about that many minutes
The dude trying beat Braves traffic
He thought he’d be sneaky and leave in the 8th, take 20 West, and sneak back up into Smynings. Too bad he’s run smack into semi traffic, and his styrofoam cooler is blowing empty Natty light cans out the back of his F-150. Freddie would not approve. For shame, bro, for shame.
Where you'll find him: South Cobb Drive
The spring breakers
They’ve crammed four West Georgia students, plus a week’s worth of luggage and booze, into a '94 Civic and are limping toward 75 South and the glory of Florida. They can’t see out the back window, and Corey in the back seat is already raiding the Jell-O shots. Do yourself a favor and stay far away from this cop magnet.
Where you'll find them: I-75 merge South of town
Why is your credit card machine "out of order, my friend"? And why does this minivan smell like QuikTrip hot dogs? And if this is the best way to the Oasis, then why are we in Chamblee? Oh god, why would anyone take a cab in Atlanta?!
Where you'll find them: Buford Highway
People who can’t drive in two inches of snow
So a million people tried to ditch work early and turned 10-mile commutes into 20hrs of national embarrassment. So, either we admit we have a problem, or we could point and laugh at the jerks in North Carolina who didn’t learn a thing from us. Yeah, we should probably go with the latter.
Where to find them: In the mirror
Sign up here for our daily Atlanta email and be the first to get all the food/drink/fun the ATL has to offer.