Lifestyle

The 99 problems with Atlanta

The are a ton of things to love about the ATL and a lot of things we're really great at -- like fried food, sitting in traffic, and almost winning at sports -- but Atlanta's also got a few problems. About 99 problems, to be exact, including sitting in traffic, almost winning at sports, and all the rest of these...

1. Chick-fil-A is closed on Sunday
2. These 10 drivers are almost always on 285
3. The Falcons season last year... and the year before... and the year before...
4. Ron Mexico
5. The Braves haven’t won a playoff series since 2001
6. The Cobb County Braves
7. There’s only one Metro Mall cop
8. The metal street hole covers
9. Losing an NHL team, twice
10. King of Pops has a cart everywhere except where you are
11. Our $100 million “streetcar” is only 2.6 miles long
12. Everything is sticky in the Summer
13. It's four hours to the closest real beach
14. Hello allergies!
15. Nowhere to ride a bike (without getting run off the road)

16. MARTA
17. People still wear Bluetooth headsets
18. The frat-tasticness of Buckhead
19. 2in of snow turns us into a national news story/joke
20. There are a handful of weekends without a beer festival
21. No buildings pre-date 1865. #thanksGeneralSherman.
22. Rednecks
23. People who have a problems with rednecks
24. We're number one in urban sprawl...
25. ... and sitting in traffic
26. PARKatlanta
27. The Bluff
28. Bandwagon jumpers in every sport
29. East Point: America’s most dangerous suburb
30. Everything is fried, delicious, and fattening
31. Mosquitos find us tasty
32. Everyone’s a transplant
33. No one’s from the actual city
34. It’s too bad for you if you don’t like Coke
35. Politicians trying to shut down Uber
36. Downtown’s impossible-to-navigate, one-way streets
37. There are at least 73 streets named “Peachtree”
38. Rush hour is from 6am to 8pm
39. Every day is a smog alert day
40. Clayton County
41. The Ghetto Burger isn't available after 7 pm
42. There are only 24 Holeman & Finch burgers each night
43. The line at Gladys Knight’s Chicken & Waffles

44. Family’s visiting? Yayyyy... you get to go to the World of Coke...
45. ... and the Aquarium. Again.
46. Having to take antibiotics before shooting the Hooch
47. Mark Richt’s grandpa khakis
48. You can’t read most of the delicious looking menus on Buford Highway
49. People look down on you if you don't have a 404 area code
50. Five Points (not Little Five Points, of course)
51. There are almost too many great rooftop bars...
52. ... but not enough that the ones in Grant Park aren't always wayyy too crowded
53. The traffic while the new dome is being constructed...
54. … and the parking while the new dome is being constructed
55. All the new restaurants you haven’t tried yet
56. All of our school kids need to cheat, apparently
57. Saints fans once a year
58. We’re such a good dating city that competition is fierce
59. Coyotes, raccoons, and rabid foxes -- that’s what we get for being a city in a forest
60. Our "city" is actually 140 cities
61. Woodruff Park: the homeless gymboree
62. Road construction, everywhere, all the time
63. Dodging street crossers on Buford Highway
64. All the shirtless runners in Piedmont Park
65.The panhandler donation meters Downtown
66. Humidity
67. The handful of municipalities without Sunday sales
68. Emory students invading the Highlands on the weekend
69. Street-drinking in Savannah is a 3-hour drive away
70. The A Tow impound lot on a Sunday morning
71. Baton Bob got arrested
72. DragonCon is only once a year

73. Too many amazing BBQ choices
74. The “ladies” at Ponce and Piedmont
75. Going to the “pool” in the fountains of Centennial Park
76. Getting stuck behind a horse-drawn carriage Downtown
77. Having to wait until 10pm on Saturday for free street parking
78. Traffic outside the raves on Spring St
79. Parking in L5P
80. Competing 420 festivals
81. Your Midtown friends not having a couch to crash on for Music Midtown
82. No one you know has tried a restaurant South of I-20
83. The weekend crowds on the Beltline
84. The web of inchworms you have to run through every Spring
85. The crotch-rocketeers on 285
86. Trying to get a number for the Peachtree Road Race
87. Korean karaoke cafes only exist in one tiny portion of Buford Highway
88. Parking in the “neighborhood” outside Turner Field
89. Pretending the “Peach Drop” is as exciting as Times Square
90. Love & Hip-Hop, Real Housewives, The Bachelorette & Honey Boo Boo
91. Trying to keep kudzu out of our yards
92. Luda doesn’t hang out in his own “area code” often enough
93. Helicopters shooting Fast & the Furious scenes at midnight
94. Centennial Park
95. Still waiting on Buckhead to officially reopen
96. The prices at Phipps
97. Instagrams from the top of Skyview Atlanta
98. 1995 was the one, and likely only year, we’ll see a championship
99. The person in the car next to you