Did we mention the sexy spread of hot girls stretching?

Good things never happen after midnight (especially to Disney princesses), so it should come as no surprise that some very, very bad after-midnight things're about to happen at After Hours Burlesque, a lingerie'd-ladies-equipped live rock show launching tomorrow night at Royal Jelly. And just so you're not speechless when one of these hotties loses more than her glass slipper, here're some totally insider conversation starters for three of the most aesthetically pleasing girls

Haley: This ex-HS teacher turned Hot For Teacher go-go-ing model was in a Diddy video, cheerleaded for the Bills, danced courtside for LeBron, entertained the troops in Iraq, and appeared on a very special episode of Dr. Oz. Don't open with Dr. Oz

Lindsay: Not only can she "contort her body in unnatural ways", but she also recently landed a role in Twilight: The Musical (!!!), has a love of antiques, and enjoys bubble baths while listening to Edith Piaf

Amber: This former Six Flags choreographer was a high school hurdler, performed with the Pussycat Dolls, and created the Sahara's Striptease show, meaning she's got enough leather and lingerie in her closet to more than adequately Poca your hontas.