More prestigious than Nobel Peace Prize Finals?

Bikinis have captivated men's attention since Esther Williams' aquatically glamorous heyday, but instead of putting one of her bewitching black-and-white films on your home reel projector, why not hit the Trop tonight, where 40 two-piece-clad ladies will vie for the title of Miss Hooters International

This regional final will pool the most aesthetically pleasing wing-women from more than a dozen Hooters-es in Jersey (yeah!), Pennsylvania (boo), Delaware & Rhode Island (?), who'll all compete in a swimsuit-off where a panel will judge every girl on meticulously scientific criteria (beauty, enthusiasm, personality... how much of a Samantha they are), then ask second-round qualifiers (read: big-time Samanthas) what they like best about working at the beloved institution (great 401k?). Oh, and because you're not sure about those Pennsylvania girls, hit the link below, work on maintaining eye contact, and enjoy a sophisticated photo spread of last year's finalists. Do it now, while you're still in your glamorous heyday.