The Hard-Partying Bro Crew
Besides the sunglasses and whiskey-scented B.O., you know this crew had a rough night, mostly because... well, they won't stop talking about it, loudly and with liberal usage of the word "dude."
The Friend Who Didn’t RSVP to ANYTHING
But wants to tag along. Sure, you also waited until the last minute, but you furiously RSVP’d to at least 20 events so you would have SOME options.
Has a color-coded schedule and 72 wristbands on his arm to prove he made a plan to attend every party, and he's sticking to it. He'd explain all this to you, but, there's no time!
The Startup App Street Team
No, we don't want to download an app in exchange for a pair of orange plastic wayfarers and a rubber bracelet. No, we don't want to take a photo with your mascot and tweet it. Yes... okay, fine. We'll take a tote bag.
Yeah, he was chilling with Nas’ producer last night at a VIP party. And chilled with Girl Talk and his homies, who were all chill as sh*t. Then went to a house party and hung out with the chick who does PR for Soulja Boy’s new record label.
The Instagram Queen
Takes a selfie and posts this mess: #sxsw #austin #atx #yolo #nofilter #beauty #hair #nailart #beautiful #beyonce #fashion #swag #girl #like4like #springbreak #followme #love #amazing #me #follow #instalike #cute #2015fashion #sxsw2015 #atxlife #mylife
The Field Marketing Manager From LA
Flown out to oversee the "experience" for their huge corporate clients. They are bossy, dismissive, smoke a lot of cigarettes, have wrist tattoos and walkie-talkies they are barking orders into and (inexplicably) carry Blackberries they are furiously clicking away on.
Perfectly pomaded haircut? Check. Fitted chambray shirt? Check. Tan skinny jeans, tortoise-shell Ray-Ban Clubmasters, and perfectly scuffed "work" boots? Check, check, and check. Lack of attention as a child? BIG check.