8. Honor Richard Linklater
Finish Dazed and Confused whenever it’s on. Then go to Top Notch and enjoy a burger while saying, "I love those redheads, man," in your best Wooderson.
9. Drink local
We have outstanding local beer, made with the blood, sweat, and tears of many a bearded man. Well, thankfully not literally. As far as we know…
10. Take your parents to Frank for Sunday brunch
The people watching and music will distract them from asking you why you’re still single.
11. Visit your favorite bartender during the week
That’s how you get good service on the weekends when you’re stuck behind a wall of bros holding twenty dollar bills between two fingers, making aggressive eye contact with the bartender in an attempt to get their attention. Provided you are cool and tip well during weeknight visits, all YOU have to do to get a drink is nod.
12. Appreciate the East Side
Enjoy every square inch of grittiness that’s left, because soon it’s going to look like the freakin’ Domain.
THOU SHALT NOT...
1. Speak poorly of Austin
Anyone who does shall receive the response: "Then go back to California!" This can be alternated with: "Why don’t you go the f*** back to Dallas already!?"