"Like, 'midget' is not acceptable anymore."
Duh, anyone who watches TLC knows that.
"What can I say about that? Oh my gosh, cross another thing off of my bucket list."
Important context: this was said by a senior lady as she exited the lavatory of a Megabus. Simple pleasures, folks.
"Ohhh... '512' not 'World War 2'."
According to some, there wasn’t much difference. Luckily for our sanity, we aren’t in that camp.
"That’s why I don’t have kids. So I can be an addict and all I have to do is go to work... well, AND hide it from Steve and everyone I know."
Poor Steve, he’s at home in his big armchair watching Hoarders and thinking everything is just hunky-dory.
"Is there, like, an artist lounge? I just really need to unwind for a few minutes."
"Hey! You AND me, sweetheart! Now come stand in this giant crowd like the rest of us!"