This year at SXSW, there seemed to be a several recurring themes in our conversations. There was the phenomenon of FOMO; and there was Jimmy Kimmel, who not only broadcast his love for our city, but also helped those of us cynics fall in love with it again. There was talk of lines, and there was the rap air horn. Then again, there were also conversations that had no particular theme, but were just damn funny (and occasionally infuriating). Here are some of the choicest soundbites we heard. P.S. If anyone knows the deal with the rap air horn, please explain in the comments.
"What’s the name of this band playing?"
The answer was "Spoon." Face palm.
"I think we’re VIP, dude."
The definition of the term was used very loosely this year.
"Like, 'midget' is not acceptable anymore."
Duh, anyone who watches TLC knows that.
"What can I say about that? Oh my gosh, cross another thing off of my bucket list."
Important context: this was said by a senior lady as she exited the lavatory of a Megabus. Simple pleasures, folks.
"Ohhh... '512' not 'World War 2'."
According to some, there wasn’t much difference. Luckily for our sanity, we aren’t in that camp.
"That’s why I don’t have kids. So I can be an addict and all I have to do is go to work... well, AND hide it from Steve and everyone I know."
Poor Steve, he’s at home in his big armchair watching Hoarders and thinking everything is just hunky-dory.
"Is there, like, an artist lounge? I just really need to unwind for a few minutes."
"Hey! You AND me, sweetheart! Now come stand in this giant crowd like the rest of us!"
"He looks like Gollum now. He does tons of coke."
They should wait until he gets really high then ask him to say,"What’s ‘taters, Precious?!"
"I used to be skinny, but I used to be poor too."
This was immediately followed by a barrage of rap air horns.
"The problem is that I drink myself sober."
The logic on this doesn’t quite work, but we like where this is going.
"Lil Bub is in town... you don’t know Lil Bub? Her owner is like, this hipster dude, he’s so cute. He was a sound engineer on like Skid Row and now she’s made him like a million dollars. She’s basically the new Grumpy Cat."
The scary thing is that this conversation took place between two 40-something ladies. Also, "Skid Row"? That’s a little harsh. Also: Lil Bub’s owner, if you’re reading this, calllll meee.
"Thing is, beer goggles work both ways. If I drank a beer and you didn’t, I’d still look good."
Try and wrap your head around this.
"He has a good Kanye story."
No such thing. NEXT.
Guy: "Hey, did you know one of the guys from Kris Kross died?"
Girl: "The light one or the darker one?"
Guy: "I don’t know, but do you think people wore their pants backwards at the funeral?"
Now, THAT’S a fun visual. A group of people wearing yellow Cross Colours and Girbaud jeans. Backwards. At a funeral. If you aren’t familiar with those brands, then you probably didn’t exist before the Internet and I pity you.
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