11. Starting a tab at the White Horse
You're going to lose track of time, stumble out, and forget your credit card. Leave the plastic at home, bring cash, and minimize the damage.
12. Eating at chain restaurants
Fine, this isn't 100% (see Whataburger), but generally speaking, would you rather eat at one of these or someplace that has to offer limitless pasta just to make anyone even think of tolerating their food?
13. Having a loud conversation in a coffee shop
Blogging about artisanal mouthwash requires deep concentration, people!
14. Trying to actually shop for groceries at the Downtown Whole Foods
Here comes the sensory-overload panic attack. And there goes your paycheck...
15. Agreeing to go to a coworker's BBQ in Round Rock
The only reason to go to Round Rock is if the Carino's was giving away free baked penne and bottles of Robert Mondavi. Nah... there is no reason to go. Unless you live there, and in that case -- sorry?
16. Riding a bicycle at night
When was the last time you were in a car with a driver who wasn't texting, refreshing Facebook, Instagramming a pic of his or her dog, or somehow doing them all at once. You are a moving, difficult-to-see target.