You could totally call Austin and Portland sister cities, if of course you clarify that Portland is the ugly, pale, not-breakfast-taco-eating sister whose beard is way less impressive than ours. Whereas they may have more bike lanes, less need for antiperspirant, and actual major league sports, there're a ton of other ways in which Austin proves its civic supremacy. Here are 10: 1. Their swimming sucks Start with the fact that it only gets hotter than 80 degrees for two months of the year (whereas we've got seven solid swimming months). Next, factor in Barton Springs, Deep Eddy, the Greenbelt, and a whole Summer's worth of swimming holes within an hour drive, and it's no contest. 2. They don't have an Alamo Drafthouse PDX's closest beer-soaked cinema is the Hollywood, which totally rips off the Drafthouse every chance it gets, ranging from a Master Pancake Theater impersonating Hecklevision, to a logo which deserves some serious legal attention from the Alamo.