And lo, David Hasselhoff came down from Devil's Mountain carrying two tablets, upon which were inscribed these 20 Commandments, which he gave only to the truest of true Berliners, and not to those who merely call themselves Berliners, may they be most harshly judged and condemned to an eternity in Munich.
1. Waiteth in line at Berghain with all the riffraff at least once
You need to at least say you did it.
2. Do thy weekend grocery shopping on a Saturday
For when thou protests that thine mead jugs are empty, and goest to refill them at one of the train station supermarkets that are open on a Sunday, may thou be condemned to an eternity of waiting in line with every other Berliner who had that brilliant idea.
3. Maketh an effort to learn German... at least at the beginning
When thou art three months past thine arrival, and cannot do much more than order a burger at thy local watering hole, thou hast permission to give up thy German course and go forth to more worthwhile pursuits. You tried.