7. Obnoxious college kids headed home after a night of drinking Having just experienced a rip-roaring night of not getting into the Pour House, students from [insert your choice of college here] want to make sure the entire T car knows how hilarious it was. Guess you had to be there. And to think we were all once this annoying.
6. Anyone riding the Green Line to a Red Sox game If Dante was alive today and writing The Inferno while living in Boston, the Green Line during Red Sox season would be his worst Circle of Hell.
5. "Hey, look at me, I'm wearing a giant backpack in the middle of a crowded train!" guy And I love to turn around. And around. And around. I hope I don't miss my flight to the Netherlands.
4. Dude who waits until the doors have been open for half an hour before jumping up from the middle of the car to scamper off the train Listen, man, we get that you're totally enthralled with The Cuckoo's Calling (spoiler alert: it's the same woman who wrote Harry Potter!), but the train's been stopped for, like, ever. Pay attention.