Seeing how 1980s John Cusack refuses to play anything but creepy Peter Gabriel songs, don't let him be the last person to hold up a boombox in public, by bringing Tom & Gary's Decentralized Dance Party to Boston. Started by two Canadian ballyhoo-seekers who've already dominated the not-so-mean streets of Canada with public fetes in which they pass out hundreds of old-school boomboxes all tuned to the same fist-pumping beat, this party can only come Hub-ward if T&G get a cool grand donated to their Kickstarter in the next three weeks, but they're willing to give you these sweet gifts in exchange for your contribution of:
$5: Get a "genuine, limited-edition high-five from both Tom and Gary".
$25: You'll enjoy a neon pink hat featuring the "coveted rope above the brim", unlike the less coveted "rope above the rim", which is just a sequel featuring Tupac trying to fix a street lassoing tournament.
$40: Can you say "Powerglove"? Well, even if you can't, that's what you're getting!
$100: A 14k gold-plated, monogrammed money clip.
$150: An autographed vintage boombox from their collection, with which to bump that single of "Hot Steppa" sitting in the drawer of the nightstand in your bedroom at your mom's house. MURDERER!
$1000: Man, you're like Peter Gabriel rich. And lucky too, because Tom and Gary will double date (or just, you know, hang out and party with) you and a friend, and promise that they "may let you Cop A Feel", though that probably depends on whether afterwards, you promise not to Say Anything.