8. Yes, Winter really is that bad
And Winter runs from Halloween to... St. Patrick’s Day.
9. That guy who just walked into the bar with the cooler full of tamales is a hero
Disrespect him, and you forfeit your right to eat one of those delightful tamales that we definitely just purchased.
10. That really is how much the parking meters cost
You see, the city decided to lease its parking meter contracts to a private… you know what, don’t make us explain it, it just makes us angry.
11. Our highways have names, not numbers
Fine, technically they have numbers. But really, they’re Eisenhower, Stevenson, Dan Ryan… and no, they’re not your friends. Especially if you’re running late. Leave for the airport like seven hours early.
12. Speaking of which, your flight out of O’Hare won’t go smoothly
Actually, who are we kidding, you should know this already. Everyone in the country has been screwed by connecting flights through O’Hare at least twice. Even babies.
13. It’s not our fault we’re heavy
It’s pizzas and hot dogs and tamales' fault!