6. TBS rethinking nixing our Just For Laughs festival. Haven't they done enough to suppress laughter with all those Big Bang Theory reruns?
7. A key to Lagunitas' taproom before they even open in February. No wait, actually, a skeleton key to ALL the Chicago breweries.
8. A self-heating car that automatically melts away any snow or ice buildup without needing any supplemental gasoline or energy. Related wish: the ability to manipulate the laws of physics.
9. An insane landlord who accepts takeout menus that have been stuffed into our building's entryway as a form of payment. Free edamame with an order of $25 or more?! You can't put a price on that (unless you look at how much edamame costs).
10. We want our Ventra cards to function properly. Hahahaha, J/K. We know even you can't pull that off.