Chicago has been called a city of neighborhoods, which may be one of its less-catchy monikers, but it also happens to be true. And those neighborhoods have many fine qualities and eclectic charms... but they also have some lesser points. And some lesser, lesser points. Read on to find out what those are, and if you don't see your least favorite 'hood, feel free to expound on it in the comments.
Wrigleyville: The nation’s greatest living monument to failure and public intoxication. Game days are obviously a waking nightmare, but it really manages to encapsulate a fraternity party from hell year-round. You can gauge the seasons by how vigorously mini-skirted 21yr-olds are shivering while waiting to get into Moe’s Cantina. Even the most liberally applied body spray can’t do much to overpower the scent of urine, stale vomit, and shame.
Lincoln Park: Split between college students and 28yr-olds who haven’t moved on from being college students. If you ever see someone taking their co-ed recreational kickball game WAY too seriously, there is a 106% chance he lives somewhere on Belden between Clark and Lincoln. Take an LP resident to a bar without flatscreen TVs or potato skins and they quickly become disoriented and irritable.
Wicker Park: People still somehow act like living in Wicker Park makes them kind of edgy when it’s basically been a more Westerly version of Lincoln Park for like 10 years now. Milwaukee Ave is teeming with disaffected suburbanite teens whose parents dropped them off to shop for vintage clothing that will impress people in art class. Also, walking or driving across six corners takes six pieces of your soul. Every. Single. Time.
Bucktown: Do you enjoy the faux-hipness of Wicker Park but wish it had more disapproving glances from stroller moms who catch you staring at their yoga pants even though they kind of appreciate the attention because their attorney husband is cheating with his secretary and she would like to leave him but have you SEEN their condo?! Welcome to Bucktown!