There are innumerable people working hard every day to make our city a better place. This article is not about them. It’s about the people you come across who quietly conspire against you and make you question our collective human existence. Here we present 33 ways such douchiness most commonly manifests itself in Chicago.
1. You have Blackhawks season tickets but only go “with clients”
And then barely pay attention to the game.
2. You refuse to leave your neighborhood
Because everything you need to know about Chicago is within two miles of your house, thank you very much.
3. You trash talk the South Side but have never been South of Cermak
No, The Cell doesn’t count.
4. You call it “Chiraq”
Don’t do it. We don’t care what Spike Lee says. Just don’t.
5. You don’t pick up after your dog
There is no excuse.