1. Unhealthy food
We saw the humble pizza and thought, “This could accommodate at least seven times more cheese." We dunk entire Italian beef sandwiches in gravy. But it’s not like we don’t exercise -- standing in that Hot Doug’s line really tones the quads.
2. Complaining about the weather
Fact: a few years ago, it was 82 and sunny on St. Patrick’s Day. People whined it was too hot. THAT HAPPENED!
3. Movies filmed in Chicago
Watch The Dark Knight with a Chi resident, and you’ll undoubtedly hear, “I know where that is!” approximately every three minutes. That third one that was shot in Pittsburgh? Completely inferior.
Every single person you know is taking an improv class right now.
5. Day drinking
Anyone experiencing their first Summer here quickly learns they need to develop entirely new levels of tolerance and stamina. Because… we also like night drinking! And brunch drinking. Occasionally sleep drinking. Actually, just title this section “drinking”.
6. Michael Jordan
It’s a bond that no dubious, dictator-based facial hair or comedically questionable Kevin Bacon commercial can undo.
7. Electing dictatorial mayors
Wait, is that what the mustache was about, MJ? Cause, we’d definitely elect you.