You know you’ve got problems if Chicago is calling you out for your crappy weather. Which we are.
Milwaukee is exactly like Chicago. Only smaller, colder, sadder, and a lot less fun. Other than that, though, exactly like Chicago.
Doesn't matter what we say here, you're going to fire back by talking about the Cardinals, and that's fine, just stop singing about them for the sake of all things holy.
When the City of Chicago is a comparative model of fiscal responsibility, you know you’re in trouble.
Oh, you got LeBron back? Good for you. Did he win six championships for you yet? No? Still zero? Bummer.
We hear you're famous for your chili. That's pretty cool -- we only have pizza, Italian beef, Chicago dogs, rib tips, cemitas, polish sausage...