10. Neglecting your long-term memory as a Cubs fan
2014: Joe Maddon’s gonna change eeeeeeeeeverything! 2006: Lou Piniella’s gonna change eeeeeeeeeverything! 2003: Dusty Baker’s gonna change eeeeeeeeeverything!
11. Renting a garden unit apartment
You've ignored the red flags and what you saved in rent you’ll make up for with flood damage, permanent shade, and the cavalcade of unwelcome sidewalk noises.
12. Parking Downtown
Aka paying the ransom our city owes to a company in Abu Dhabi.
13. Starting a tab in a Wrigleyville bar
You will forget your card. If only you could forget what went on inside that country bar.
14. Accidentally getting on the Purple Line Express
"I swear that train’s sign was brown just a second ago!"
15. Arguing that NYC is superior to Chicago in any way
It’s an island of rats eating stale pretzels led by new ambassador Taylor Swift.