When (if) the construction ends, LBJ will be a much, much better place, with multiple levels, varying toll rates, and
much smoother traffic flow traffic flow. So, with that in mind, we've compiled a list of the 10 drivers you'll still have to contend with, but hopefully in less close quarters:
1. The gravel truck driver who thinks your car would look better with no paint.
This is why people used to drive around with bras on their cars. Cars shouldn't have to have bras.
2. The motorcyclist weaving in and out of traffic every 50ft.
Sure, it's his life he's risking, and sure, part of you is probably jealous that he's going to get to the Preston exit about three minutes before you, but really, if he hits you, you know you're the one getting sued.
3. The mysterious white worker van.
It's pretty obvious this belongs to some dudes who are in the FBI, and they're driving all crappy and slow because they'd want to avoid drawing any attention to themselves, except for the fact that they're IN A MYSTERIOUS WHITE WORKER VAN.
4. The Final Destination trailer.
For some reason, people always insist on putting everything from bricks, to 2x4s, to dogs in the back of their trucks or on flatbed trailers that probably shouldn't carry much more than a payload of pillows. Somehow this stuff rarely flies off, but all it takes is one wrong bump and that brick-2x4-dog is flying through your windshield.
5. The guy who weaves in front of you, but doesn't exit.
Really, dude? If you were exiting right now, that's one thing, but you're not exiting right now, and that's another thing altogether. What possible reason did you have to change into this lane, right now, if you're not exiting? WHAT. TELL ME.
6. Guy who brakes late because he's an inattentive a-hole.
You know that horrible feeling when you see someone speed up in your rear-view mirror and then just as they're about to slam into the back of you, at the last possible second they brake? And just when you're about to recover from your heart attack, they do it again?
We have like 15 cabs in all of Dallas, and all 15 are on LBJ, all the time, with zero respect for a) lanes, b) turn signals, or c) the laws of physics. Two cars can't share the same space!
8. The short soccer mom in an SUV.
Maybe she's a really great driver. Maybe she's completely competent behind the wheel. You can't really be certain though, because you can't even see her inside her Nissan Armada; it's disconcerting, at best.
9. The road-ragers.
We get it. Someone does something that pisses you off and actually endangers your life or property, and you're pissed. That doesn't mean the appropriate action is to do the EXACT SAME THING AS THEM.
10. Everyone who updates their Facebook status or tweets that "traffic sucks today".
Chances are, at some point someone has caused LBJ to hit a standstill because they caused a wreck while updating their status. If this is you, you're clearly the worst.