What Denver neighborhood should you live in? A convenient guide.

Finding a place to live is about more than just simple shelter (though roofs remain important). Your place, and even more broadly, your neighborhood, is an extension of your very being. With that in mind, we have this handy guide to Denver neighborhoods, to make sure you're doing it right.

You’ve mistaken your Subaru for another more than once and can barely see out your rear window because it's plastered with stickers that subtly tout the distances you’ve run and 14ers you’ve climbed. You love a "sick" pair of Merrells and easily switch into shorts by unzipping the bottom half of your pants because of this Denver weather which you know so much about because you’ve lived here longer than anyone you know. You should live in...
 

The Highlands

And you do! Gentrification!

Capitol Hill Neighborhood Guide DEN
Connor Green

You loathe being called a hipster but will gladly accept the label "Bohemian" (which is the same damn thing) because it conveys your disdain for corporations, which anyone familiar with your Twitter feed is all too well aware of already. You either roll your own cigs or rip off the filters to the ones you bum because you like the taste of tobacco, man. Also, nice bowler hat. You should live in...

Capitol Hill

A slight griminess drips down from Colfax giving Cap Hill its edge (and, most likely, its crime!). Sprinkled with a diamond-in-the-rough bar or two, it makes sense that many a mustachioed gent would call East of the Golden Triangle home.


You are laying out, bitches! And also drinking liberally with friends in a park while you use Tinder and/or Grindr. Also, you are fond of ghosts. You should live in...

Cheeseman

The dense population of the neighborhood has lead to the conversion of every possible building into living quarters whose inhabitants, on sunny days, burst into Cheeseman Park, which used to be a cemetery until the city ordered the families of the buried to "dig em’ up and get out". For real, that's what they said.


You just moved here from out East (aka Chicago) and need a cheap place to live. A few vagrants aren't going to bother you, because you're from… well, actually a suburb of Chicago. Your iPhone features mixes that alternate between Kanye and Kanye featuring so-and-so. You are comfortable having said iPhone stolen. You should live in...

Five Points

Apartmentfinder.com promises cheap rent and landlords who are seemingly indifferent to what is going on outside. Once you get past your first, second, and third car radio being jacked, you might as well just roll down the window and listen to the jazz music that made this 'hood famous.

Country Club Neighborhood Guide DEN
Connor Green

Your vehicle of choice has commercials that talk about torque and do not feature Dennis Leary. You might even use driving gloves because kangaroo leather on cow leather just has that feel. Along with your house in Denver, you own a house in Breckenridge that sits empty until your roof shovelers stop in to drop a deuce. You should live in...

Country Club

The streets themselves have cover charges, the homes have carriage houses (ugh, garages are so gauche), and the mailboxes are built like Fort Knox. Also, no one is allowed to play in the yard. Because they are at boarding school.


You're clutching a Starbucks skinny whatever in the hand of one bangle-riddled arm and a Sotheby’s guide in the other. Because you're in realty. As in, a receptionist at RE/MAX. You should live in...

Cherry Creek

You used to live in Country Club but the marriage didn’t last so you live in Cherry Creek, which is just far enough that you can still jog by the old house in that new pair of Lululemons you bought at the Cherry Creek mall... because you did get half.


You just graduated, but still wear your old college hoody and sweatpants at all hours of everyday and still pre game before heading to the bars. When skiing, you say you're from Denver. When people ask more pointed follow-up questions, you admit you're from Kansas. You should live in...

Uptown

A heavy dose of Midwestern college grads mitigated with the occasional adult, Uptown is light on maturity and heavy on student loan debt. Luckily, even though residents spend a disproportionate amount of their funds on rent and booze, there are some decent restaurants to be had.

LoDo Neighborhood Guide DEN
Wikimedia Commons | Mr SG

Your perfect day involved tannin', gettin' swoll, and omitting as many "g's" as possible. You drink a considerable amount of vodka. You really enjoy Maxim. You should live in...

LoDo

Three grand for a two-bedroom is outrageous, but it will even out because you’ll never spend a dime on cab fare. All your favorite bars surround you, from Sports Column to ViewHouse to The Ginn Mill, where you hooked up with that one girl who was like a five, but you told your friends was an eight. Every weekend.


Your favorite song (and wine!) are by Dave Mathews, who you listen to while running to get high, runner-style, with your yellow lab, Breck. You don’t quite fit into that Subaru crowd, mainly because you’re mid-level at Wells Fargo and worked it in with the finance guy to get a Jeep Cherokee. You will not stop saying, "It’s a Jeep thing." You should live in...

Wash Park

Former college grads who didn’t have to settle for Cap Hill or Uptown -- because mom and dad bought that first year’s rent or the down payment on their "starter" home -- find a place here. Soon Brad and Ashley will replace that lab with a push stroller. Made by Jeep. You can follow their journey on Instagram.


You are a super-edgy type who sees the marriage of reclaimed metal and wood as the only one you wouldn’t have an objection too. Also, Cap Hill became "over" a long time ago. You should live in...

RiNo

Industrial is just a façade to the many buildings housing everything from jewelers and restaurants to breweries and art studios. Anything else you need you'll find in The Source.