12 Reasons the World Should Thank Denver
People spend quite a bit of time being jealous of Denver, what with all the sunshine and scenery and other things at which we excel. But how often do they take the time to THANK Denver for all it has given the world? Not nearly enough, if you consider these dozen most precious gifts.
ChipotleWhat started off as a single burrito joint near the University of Denver in 1993 quickly became a sensation across the country (and ultimately internationally!) on the strength of its high-quality, quickly executed, customizable burritos (and guac... always get guac!). Sure, people may freak out occasionally when they run out of carnitas, but it's terrifying to imagine a world in which there isn't carnitas to miss.
Fool's Gold LoafNone other than Elvis Presley was hooked after trying this massively caloric creation at the Colorado Mine Company (which is sadly now closed). Still, the concept lives on! This beautifully delicious monster of a sandwich consists of a whole loaf of sourdough, butter, peanut butter, strawberry jam, and a pound of bacon. The King was so taken by it, he even flew from Graceland to Denver once to pick up some sandwiches to go.
Legalizing itDenver voters made their voices heard when they helped turn Colorado into the first state in America to legalize recreational marijuana. Sure, people in Amsterdam may not have blinked, but do you know how much money Americans have saved by no longer needing to fly to Amsterdam?
Frontier AirlinesThanks to Frontier's random Internet sales, it is possible to get one-way tickets at an affordable price. Sure, you might be flying at 6am on a Tuesday, but the price is right!
Dog the Bounty HunterThe Denver-born felon-turned-reality star has eight seasons (really?!) of his own show under his belt due to the never-ending drama and incredible hairstyling. If nothing else, the world should keep in mind that without him, the South Park parody would not have been possible.
India ArieFour-time Grammy winner, producer, singer and song-writer. AND a Denver original. Boom.
The LumineersWe can thank Craigslist (for which Denver cannot claim credit) for this folk-rock band that was formed in Denver after their cellist was found through an ad. Without them, emotionally uncreative couple would have had no other means to declare their devotion to one another in the year 2012.
SmashburgerThis burger chain was started in 2007 and has grown into over 300 locations in five countries. The menu consists of hand-smashed burgers with toppings like truffle mayo and Applewood-smoked bacon... not to mention the five different kinds of fries, fried pickles, and shakes. Having Smashburger for lunch and Chipotle for dinner is known as the Denver Double Threat. Fine, that's not true. But it SHOULD be.
SamsoniteThe luggage company has been around since 1910. Transporting the world's belongings in style is all well and good, but ultimately, its most critical contribution was to the (original, actually funny) film Dumb & Dumber.
Tim AllenHome Improvement would have you believe he's from Michigan. The Santa Clause would have you believe he is an advertising executive who accidentally accepted the responsibility of delivering toys to children all over the world. Toy Story would have you believe he's a toy astronaut. But in reality, he was born in Denver -- though he did later move to Michigan, where, fun fact, he served two years in prison for cocaine trafficking.
The Western snap shirtJack A. Well originally created the snap shirt for cowboys so they wouldn't get caught on anything while riding around on a ranch. Western snap shirts are more fitted and, of course, can be taken off in a single motion. He also created the first commercially produced bolo ties. The fashion world would be a sadder place without both of them.
Great Divide Brewing CompanyLook, in reality there are numerous Denver breweries the world ought to thank us for, but Great Divide (voted 7th Best Brewery on the Planet by Beer Advocate) merits special mention. Do you really want to live in a world without Oak-Aged Yeti?
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