Lifestyle

The 13 Detroit Lions fans you’ll see this season

It’s not easy being a Lions fan. Decades of budding optimism paired with complete and utter disappointment... it just does things to a person. Yes, Lions fans are a rare breed. But we’ve learned in recent years to distrust anything having to do with management or the organization as a whole, and place all hope in the glorious phrase Stafford-to-Megatron. No matter what the outcome of this season, remember we’re all in this together. #OnePride. One crazy, messed up pride, including the fans you’ll find below.


The Hopelessly Hopeless Fan

"Same old Lions". Repeat.
 

The Hopelessly Hopeful Fan

"This is the year", he said in 2008 when the Lions went 4-0 in the preseason, then finished out 0-16. "This is the year", he said in 2012, following the Lions first playoff berth in over a decade. "This is the year", he says this year and every year, because if he doesn’t say it, who will?
 

Baghead

 Someone, at some point, will be wearing one. It’s a guarantee.
 

The Penalty Pessimist

 Flag on the play? Yell, scream, change the channel… then reluctantly change it back.
 

Forever Nostalgic Guy

 He’s never going to take off that Sanders jersey. Never. 
 

The [insert franchise player here] Fan

 Stafford, Megatron, Bush, Suh. It’s everyone else’s fault but theirs.
 

The Bandwagon Fan

 Hah. Just kidding. There’s no such thing.
 

The "If" Fan

If Stafford could just stay healthy, if Schwartz was gone, if they could just avoid turnovers, penalties, or losing more games than they win... they’d be championship contenders, no doubt.
 

The Guy From Downriver Who Won’t Stop Yelling 

What’s he saying? Not quite sure, but he’s definitely from downriver.

The Bears Basher

Nothing matters, so long as we beat the Bears. Let’s not talk about history, though.
 

The Matt Millen Hater

Still finds a way to link any Lions misfortune to arguably the worst GM ever. Most of the time, he isn't wrong...
 

The Wrong Jersey Fan

You can’t wear a Wings jersey to a football game. No matter how badly you wish you were at the Joe.
 

The Supremely Loyal Fan

Let’s face it. Loyalty to the Lions (heretofore) is about as rewarding as loyalty to a rotting potato, but without them, there’d still be TV blackouts. So thank you loyal fans, thank you. Maybe, just maybe, this is the year.

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