... and beer
If you don't like beer you are definitely in the wrong city. And state. And region. Probably country. Okay seriously, why do you even live here? Michigan is the Great Beer State for damn good reasons and a perfect date here might just mean a Midtown brewpub/beer bar crawl of Motor City Brewing Works, Traffic Jam & Snug, Jolly Pumpkin, and HopCat. And then going to the game.
We all owe Quicken a debt of gratitude
Bless you, Quicken, and the endless stream of starry-eyed 20-somethings you bring into the city "to make a difference." To paraphrase Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused, the best thing about Quicken employees is that we keep getting older and they keep staying the same age. Also, the presence of the Quickenstanites has vastly improved Detroit's overall attractiveness factor (they even shower!). Say what you will about Dan Gilbert, but you can't deny that the dating scene got a whole lot brighter once he started shipping these people in by the busload.
Coastal transplants: we love them, until we hate them
Oh, you're from New York? Cool! Oh, you only lived there for, like, six months? Okay, well... still kinda cool. Oh, you're originally from here, moved to New York, couldn't hack it there, and moved back here when the tide was high so that you could "make a difference" and "be a part of something," and "get in on the ground floor" of this "blank slate" city? BYE.