There's a new Whole Foods in Midtown which means a) KALE AND QUINOA!!!!!, and b) Cute girls shopping for... KALE AND QUINOA!!!!! Seriously, these places are overrun with yoga-pant-wearing not-guys who you could totally strike up a conversation with if only you had the perfect icebreaker. To wit: How to pick up a girl in five different aisles using five different icebreakers at the new Midtown Whole Foods.
This Chinese Festival Is Like 'Frozen' Come to Life
The Aisle With The Bananas Best-Bet Line: "Did you know that some cultures (most notably Japan) use the fiber in the banana plant to make fabric and sometimes even paper? Whereas other cultures (most notably America) use facts like this as excuses to talk to girls they meet in grocery stores?"
The Aisle With The Melons Best-Bet Line: "Did you know that some cultures (most notably Japan) use the fiber in banana melon (!) plants to make fabric and sometimes even paper??"
The Aisle with MEEEEEAAAAAATTTTT Best-Bet Line: [holding up 9in sausage] "Eh."
The Aisle With Allllllll The Beer Best-Bet Line: "Whoa! That's so cool, all of the local beers have signs designating how far away the brewery is from here. Yeah, I'm not sure where my pants went either."
The Aisle That Has RC Cola Best-Bet Line: "I'm pretty sure you know where this is going. Grab the freaking Zima and let's go."