National news has more compelling stories, but local news hits you where it counts -- because what do you care if Hugh Grant gets busted with a transvestite prostitute if you can't hit Reverchon Park and get one too? Filling the gap in local satirical news, DFWian.
From a Fort Worth search-engine marketer, DFWian aims to provide what the Onion doesn't: smartly full-of-crap stories about the people and events that make the Metroplex kind of terrible but kind of great -- all under the admirable banner "WHERE DALLAS / FORT WORTH COMES TO PISS AWAY VALUABLE TIME". Headlines cover politics ("Leppart and Moncrief to Reluctantly Return Monkey Butlers"), sports ("Old Man Hicks Busted Haunting Ballpark in Arlington"), business ("In-N-Out Breaks Ground, Looks to Fill Metroplex Fast Food Burger Void"), and of course weather, e.g., "North Texas Cancels January Due to Threat of Snow" -- though if we're that afraid of a Canadian rapper, what'll we do when there's a Vanilla Ice storm? Meanwhile, editorials touch on similarly pressing concerns, notably the classic take on the Dallas business cycle of irrational exuberance followed by mild depression, "If Panther Sales Don't Pick Up Soon, I May Have to Get a Real Job".
There's also a News Happening Now ticker, keeping you up-to-the-minute on breaking stories like "Local UT Grad Bemoans Lack of Frisbee Golf Courses" and "DFW Residents Upset as Michael Vick Given Key to Chevron Men's Room" -- a local story with a national bent, as no matter what state a man lives in, he's never far from Ron Mexico.
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