6. The Plastic Geriatric
Is that a pair of extremely fashionable zombies? Nope, just another Park Ave couple living their twilight years out East. Most likely to be found recovering from cosmetic surgery (ladies), sporting baseball hats with no logos (fellas), or complaining audibly to the waitstaff (both).
7. The Embittered Local
The Hamptons don't run without them, and they need the lovely folks you've been reading about to power the local economy, so they mostly have to remain pleasant. But if you look closely, you can see the rage boiling beneath the surface.
8. The Club Rats
Look, if you spend enough time in the Hamptons, you'll invariably end up at a club here and there. That does not make you one of these. The entire weekend of the Club Rat species revolves around the club -- where to go, who to go with, who's "spinning", what to wear, how to get in, who they'll call poor for not wanting to get down on their table with them. Recover by the pool the next morning. Rise. Repeat.