24 Reasons the World Should Thank Houston

Some days, we really don’t know where the world would be without Houston. Would we have made it to the moon? Who would play Sheldon on Big Bang Theory? What would we rap about, if not the purple drank? It’s scary to think about -- but thankfully, we don’t have to. Here are 24 reasons the world owes us big time. You’re welcome, everyone.

1. Like we said, we checked out the moon for y’all

Though Apollo 11 launched from Florida’s Kennedy Space Center, we manned the crap out of Mission Control and made that moon landing happen. Sorry, Russia.

2. You probably wouldn’t have energy without us

That’s because we’re a world capital for pretty much every aspect of the oil and gas industry, from exploration and production to technology and supply.

3. Because life would not be nearly as funny...

... without Houston-born South Park co-creator and comedy genius Matt Stone.

4. Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Fantastic Mr. Fox

All brain children of Houston-born film genius Wes Anderson.

5. We’re the hometown of Beyoncé

And Beyoncé’s assets.

6. We pushed the boundaries of aviation technology

And by "we," we actually mean Howard Hughes... but we’re still taking credit for it. 

7. We’re the top US market for exports 

Mainly petroleum products, chemicals, and oil and gas extraction equipment. You’re especially welcome, Mexico, Canada, and Brazil.

8. Anna Nicole Smith, Shannon Elizabeth, Jennifer Garner, Hilary Duff

All from Houston. So is Charlie Sheen’s porn star "goddess," Bree Olsen. Happy Googling.

9. In what may just be our biggest contribution to date, two Houston surgeons developed silicone breast implants 

Thomas Cronin and Frank Gerow, mankind thanks you.

10. We accidentally aided the success of The Big Bang Theory

Yep, Jim Parsons has Houston roots. Seriously, America? This is our #1 comedy?

11. We gave you Gilmore Girls actress Alexis Bledel

And by the transitive property, Netflix marathons of Gilmore Girls with your girlfriend. Sorry, we’re not sorry.

12. We’re also the birthplace of sizzurp...

Which led to Justin Bieber on sizzurp. Okay, maybe we need to extend some apologies here.

13. Fajitas

Debatable whether or not they were invented here, but there's no question they were mastered here.

14. Two words: Patrick. Swayze.

Do you want to think about a world without Point Break AND Road House? Do you think someone else could have informed Jerry Orbach that no one puts baby in a corner? No and no. Good thing Houston served as the birthplace to Mr. Swayze. RIP.

15. Oh, we also brought you both Dennis AND Randy Quaid

You’re double welcome? Is it really any shock that Cousin Eddie's from Houston?

16. We are partially responsible for Google and

In that John Doerr -- the billionaire venture capitalist who provided original investments in the two -- spent his better years gaining mad knowledge with two degrees from Houston’s own Rice University.

17. Houston paved the way for the world’s first multifunctional, domed stadium: the almighty Astrodome 

Which helped popularize artificial turf, aka. Astroturf. NBD. Although, apologies to knees the world over.

18. We brought you Nike Airs

In the mid 1970s, Johnson Space Center Engineers developed lighter, better fit protective gear for firefighters. That technology was later implemented into those sweet kicks you’re wearing right now.

19. We house MD Anderson, one of the world’s leading cancer centers

Which is located in the Texas Medical Center, the largest med center in the world. Boom.

20. Because you know you love the song "Ridin’ Dirty"

The hit track from Houston-born rapper Chamillionaire.

21. We gave you beards to aspire to

Houston-formed rock legends ZZ Top made insanely shaggy beards cool well before those dudes from Duck Dynasty.

22. Ever heard of Life Flight?

It is one of the first air emergency services (and is still the largest). And it was created in Houston.

23. So, your heart needs us

With Life Flight came the development of a super-successful inter-institutional transplant program. Basically, more heart surgeries are performed our Med Center than anywhere else in the world.

24. Enron

Wait. Never mind about this last one.

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