It’s hard being the new guy in a big city. Especially when that city is as hardcore in love with itself (and rightfully so) as Houston is. You may think you’re fitting in, but you’re actually standing out like a fat kid at CrossFit. Here’s why:
1. You're on the hunt for a good bacon, egg & cheese sandwich instead of a good bacon, egg & cheese taco
We can help you with that.
2. You just uttered the phrase, "I don’t really like jalapeños"
Stop doing that. Start doing jalapeños.
3. You underestimated the August heat and attempted to walk to the bar
"It's only a mile away," you say. "I did it all the time back home." Fool. FOOL!
4. You are actually excited for your first Astros game
Didn’t you hear? Everything is bigger here, including disappointment.