Look, Houston's a fantastic city that's totally on the rise, and not just with regard to its cholesterol. But we know we’re not perfect. We've got some problems -- 99 of them to be exact. Here’s the proof:
1. Parking Wars is not just a TV show
2. Crawfish season ends
3. We’re responsible for sizzurp
4. Today’s forecast: torrential downpour followed by ten hours of face-melting sun
5. Texas A&M fans
6. The Texans' starting quarterback went to Harvard
7. We ONLY have two Chinatowns
8. Too many burbs, not enough city
9. The Rockets' offseason
10. Have you seen our bayou?
11. That’s our closest body of water
12. "Choke City"
13. Swamp ass
14. Swamp everywhere else, too
16. Our train is pretty useless
17. Wait, there’s a train?
18. You always miss Jeopardy because it plays at a stupid hour
19. That was your house that got broken into on the five o'clock news
20. We killed the Astrodome
21. Too many oil execs
22. Too. Many. Trucks.