Lifestyle

The 21 Worst Drivers in Houston

Published On 04/22/2015 Published On 04/22/2015

We did it, y’all! We made the list of the 20 cities with the worst drivers in America! We knew we could do it. Mainly because of these 21 types of drivers that Houstonians encounter on the roadway... Every. Single. Day. Did we mention we also have the worst road rage?

1. The guy straight-up stopped at the feeder to I-45 South from Allen Parkway

Don’t worry, guy. It’s not like everyone behind you has to merge into 70mph traffic or anything.

2. The lost rental-car driver

He's staring hopelessly at his GPS. He just cut off three lanes of traffic. He's going to bomb his interview anyway.

3. The compensating pickup-truck owner

Sure, act like you own the road because your car's bigger. We know what you're hiding.

4. The near-miss guy

He thought he could make it through the divider to avoid traffic. He's now stuck in said divider. And the five cars behind him thought the same.

Apple Maps

5. The rain averse

Doesn't matter if it's a drizzle or a torrential downpour -- any amount of moisture and suddenly you might as well throw a "Student Driver" sign on top of the car.
 

6. Anyone with tinted windows and wheel spikes

Which is, unfortunately, a lot of people.
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7. Yellow cab drivers

Yes, they still exist. We know. We were surprised too.
 

8. The petrified girl driving next to the Main St light rail

Don’t worry, the train’s not going to hit you. It only hits pedestrians.

Flickr/cote

9. Literally everyone else near the Galleria at 1pm on a Tuesday

Does anyone work anymore?
 

10. The impatient Whataburger customer

Just went through the drive-thru and is now attempting to ketchup his fries while merging. Dude, that better AT LEAST be the spicy ketchup.
 

11. That guy who's incapable of driving in light snow

Fine, that's kind of unfair. It's pretty much everybody.

Flickr/trp0

12. The anti-environmentalist

Parked his H2 across THREE rechargeable spots in the Whole Foods parking lot. On second thought, maybe he’s kinda awesome?
 

13. The teenager in the Silverado who clearly has no idea how to drive one

At least we know his tires will be stolen.
 

14. The turn-signal avoider

Oh sorry, it's OUR fault for not anticipating that you would be terrible at this.
 

15. The reckless pothole avoider

Yes, running over that mini-crater could mess up your car. You know what else could? Careening into the cars in the lane next to you.

Flickr/utahdarkhorse

16. The dude weaving in out and out traffic like he’s a NASCAR driver

Yeah, we see that sick spoiler on the back of your used sedan. But you’re not getting anywhere, bro. Just like the rest of us.
 

17. The tricked-out ride that just aggressively ran the red light Downtown

...only to be stopped at the very next red light.
 

18. Your shoeless, patchouli-scented Uber driver

Who somehow still provides a better experience than a yellow cab.

Flickr/faungg

19. Flatbed and tank truck drivers with crap flying off the back of their trucks

Look out for our windshield invoice on Venmo.
 

20. River Oaks Moms in SUVs trying to park

Please just turn off the engine. No, no, don’t reverse again. You’re already in the spot! You’re already in the spotttttttt.
 

21. Dwight Howard

Apparently ol’ D-money racked up two handfuls of tickets for running red lights in Orlando. We can only assume he’s the same, or worse, in Houston. Because everyone is.

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