Insert outer suburb here
Where everyone has kids, all the houses look the same, Pappadeaux is a big night out, and... what the hell are you doing here again?
Where the chance of a Botox sighting is as inevitable as finding yourself stuck in traffic. Though pretentious clubs like Roak and the short-lived Dorisa closed, the stench of douchebaggery still lingers. Or maybe we’re just jealous we don’t live closer Kata Robata and the movie theater.
Garden Oaks/Oak Forest
Where you meet at a rotating selection of five bars every Friday night after sitting in 45 minutes of traffic and stopping home to get your dog, then end up needing to take a $30 Uber home and, good lord, where’s your dog?! But yeah, Cottonwood is pretty sweet. See you there next Friday.
Where things were cheap but now they’re not, and everyone’s contemplating whether to hold on to their newly-renovated-but-still-creaky three bedroom townhome or give up and move to the 'burbs. Though, they did just put that Walmart nearby!