1. All our tract homes look the same 2. Forgetting where you live because all our tract homes look the same 3. Scorpions 4. Brown recluses are the size of corgis 5. Scorpions and brown recluses organized enough to join forces and take over a 7-Eleven 6. The heat 7. Parking meters on bike racks 8. Eccentric millionaires 9. Eccentric billionaires 10. Eccentric guy named Earl on the corner of Charleston and Martin Luther King Blvd demanding a baggie of your hair 11. It's impossible to clean dog poop out of AstroTurf yards 12. The ice rink Downtown is actually made of plastic 13. Somehow, there's still a local hockey team 14.Sex and the City-themed bachelorette parties 15. The Hangover-themed bachelor parties 16.Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas-themed funeral parties
Model, Influencer & Entrepreneur Lindsey Pelas Reveals Celebrity Pick Up Stories
17. Nightclub beer prices 18. Nightclub prices 19. Nightclubs 20. Yardstick booze slushies 21. Your Aunt Carol insisting on getting a booze slushy 22. The Strip is 4.2mi 23. Carrot Top 24. 25-year-olds who drive Maseratis 25. You can't afford a Maserati 26. The Heart Attack Grill 27. Inbreeding 28. Donny & Marie 29. Los Angeles: the city, the people, the jersey 30. Craigslist is absolutely terrifying 31. MMA fighters who like to practice in crowded bars 32. The Hangover 1 and 3 33. People trying to recreate The Hangover 1 and 3
34. Friday night traffic on the Strip 35. Saturday night traffic on the Strip 36. Wednesday afternoon traffic on the Stri -- WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?! 37. Hotel parking garages that don't have floor or section markings 38. Valet drivers who clearly turned your A/C all the way up and floored it once or twice on the way over 39. Major streets shut down for zombie marathons 40. Major streets shut down for the Color Run 41. Major streets shut down for Pride parade 42. Major streets shut down for the Mexican Independence parade 43. Major streets shut down for -- is that a beer festival? All right fine. 44. Anyone who says "We run Vegas" and wears flip flops 45. Anyone who DOES run Vegas and wears a toupee 46. It's almost impossible to find the great restaurants in Chinatown. Oh, wait! 47. Traffic in Chinatown... mostly due to people looking for an unmarked restaurant 48. Tech start-ups 49. The phrase "Only in Vegas" 50. Things that ACTUALLY only happen in Vegas 51. The guy next to you in traffic screaming "YOLO" at 85mph 52. Luxury car tours parking at the only quiet overlook in Red Rock 53. It's hard to pick from the billions of cheap, delicious steak 'n egg options 54. The "going out shirt" 55. Barefoot girls on the Strip 56. The brutal stench of urine in the alleys behind Fremont St 57. The brutal stench of -- actually, I don't know what that is, but I'm taking a different alley 58. The song "Waking Up in Vegas" 59. Drive-time DJs for playing it on a Monday morning 60. The water color at casino day club pools 61. Video billboards above busy intersections 62. Video billboard-related accidents and fatalities 63 Your police report saying something to the effect of "crashed watching preview for Blue Man Group" 64. The smell of Las Vegas Blvd when it gets above 90 degrees 65. It’s still above 90 degrees in October 66. The line at Tacos El Gordo if you've been drinking 67. The line at Tacos El Gordo if you HAVEN'T been drinking
68. The Fremont Street Experience 69. That goddamn flame-throwing praying mantis at Downtown Container Park 70. There are only three decent bookstores, all of them are Barnes & Noble, and they're all in the distant suburbs 71.Celebrity DJs 72. Too many award-winning restaurants to choose from on any given night 73. Cocaine on the toilet seat in Starbucks 74. Tinder Prom 75. The presence of anyone from The Real World 76. The presence of anyone in a giant animal costume 77. The presence of anyone with the last name Hilton 78. The dread-locked kids playing guitar on the Strip only seem to know “No Woman, No Cry” 79. Those kids are the only ones on the Strip not wearing too much cologne 80. They’re also the only ones who could really, really use it 81. How casually bikers talk about having been “brushed” by buses 82. The person-colored markings on the side of buses
83. Any celebrity impersonator not on Las Vegas Blvd or Fremont St 84. That isn’t an Elvis-after-years-of-amphetamines impersonation? Yyyyyikes, man. 85. You’re only five minutes into your flight home when visitors start screaming “Vegas, baby!” 86. Spirit Airlines for instigating that and just because 87. Anyone who still thinks “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” 88. Parties hosted by Kim... or really any of the Kardashians 89. Picking the right topless pool 90. Not every margarita comes in a life-size plastic guitar 91. Your dinner reservation got delayed because Pauly Shore wanted a second dessert 92. Your buffet reservation got deleted because the Thunder From Down Under guys are stress-eating 93. The couple in the elevator 94. The couple fighting in the elevator 95. The couple sloppily making up/out in the elevator 96. The couple recounting how they met earlier this weekend, for 10 minutes, unprompted 97. The couple asking where you’re from, then interrupting you to say, “He’s from Omaha and I’m from Seattle” 98. Seriously, how long is this elevator ride? We’re going to the 80th floor? Why would I know where you parked? Please don’t throw up. No, the elevator probably doesn’t have a trash can. Because it’s an elevator. Please wait until I get off. No I don’t have a plastic bag. Think about non-pukey things. No, wait! 99. Getting puke on your shoes at 2pm on a Sunday
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