A topless review with lots of Jimmy Page (who is thankfully not topless)

For those about to rock -- or failing that, watch topless showgirls rock while dancing to the likes of Zeppelin, Alice Cooper, and of course AC/DC, before a De Niro impersonator does standup in between acts -- we salute you. A similar salute goes out to Downtown's D Hotel, which is hosting Raack n' Roll. Here, meet the ladies:Ashley: Following an introduction featuring the ladies marching around in sexed-up military costumes to an AC/DC medley, Ashley stays put to dramatize Alice Cooper's "Only Women Bleed". In her spare time, she enjoys yoga, playing the harmonica, and cleaning with roller skates on. Those are all for real.Tiffany: A group number in which they basically do synchronized swimming without the water leads into Tiff's solo moment: performing "Foxy Lady". She also notes that her measurements are "always changing", which should encourage repeat visits!Silver: She sings Papa Roach's "Hollywood Whore". That is all.Tracy: Her topless acrobatic tricks on a swing during Muse's "Feeling Good" should have you Feeling Exactly The Same.Victoria: The show ends with all of the girls performing to Sammy Hagar's "There's Only One Way To Rock", but not before Victoria turns the entire stage into her personal shower. She also loves esthetics.