1. Attempting to recreate The Hangover
Listen, all of that stuff can happen here. And while it’s hilarious to watch Zach Galifianakis experience it, it’s a different story when you end up in Chinatown owing money to a guy who wears a white suit and sunglasses at 2am. That said, hit me up if you need a tiger. I got a guy.
2. Owning a car with leather seats
In every other city, you’d maybe burn your hand on a seat belt buckle during the summer. In Vegas sitting on leather (especially in a dress) between the months of April and November means giving up a layer of skin in your swimsuit zone.
3. Buying an alcoholic slushie in July
Think of any well alcohol at a bar. The liquor put in these washing-machine slushies is even worse. It’ll get the job done for sure. But with all that sugar and syrup, and 114-degree temperatures in the shade, most of that drink is going to be in the bushes before you hit the sheets.