Texas proves it's not all about cowboys

These days, our nostalgia is often supercharged by technology, though it's unclear if making the new Smurfs film in 3D is the best way to draw in moviegoers approaching 4D. For tech-powered nostalgia that'll have you Smurfing your Smurf like crazy; Dry Hump: the Game.
From the Texas state capital (whose motto, fittingly, is "Keep Austin Weird"), this utterly bizarre, slightly surrealistic adultification of the Choose Your Own Adventure books uses YouTube's captioning features to guide you on a journey whose ultimate goal is fully clothed not-quite-intercourse -- whether that makes it SFW depends entirely on where you W. The stories can be "played" with one of two mute protagonists (man or woman, both with equally long flowing locks), who're presented with opportunities you must exploit for attired hanky panky, with success rewarded via 2001-esque, trippy slo-mo sequences, and failure leading to, among other things, literal crotch deflation, a known side effect of low interest rates. Settings include an innocent Bible study session (should you go in for the kiss? or a gentle massage?), an outdoor party complete with trampoline and bathtub, and "Home Turf", where you're asked to choose between cooking for her in the kitchen or playing video games in the living room, depending on which you think increases your odds of becoming a space invader.
The whole thing's underpinned by an indie rock-driven soundtrack, complete with links to each song, so you can put them on later, if you and your Lord Ball-thazars are feeling a little...blue.