3. Geography doesn’t work like that
Here we see Sherlock Holmes run from the sewers underneath the Houses of Parliament, ending up on top of Tower Bridge. Two and a half miles away. In two minutes. When Bridget Jones walks to work, she trundles (yes, trundles) through Piccadilly Circus before also emerging miraculously at Tower Bridge seconds later. In Sliding Doors, meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow’s character manages the slog from Embankment station to East London’s Trinity Wharf in under a minute. Impressive stuff. And in Bollywood hit London Dreams, little Arjun makes light work of the 20-mile run from Heathrow Airport to Shad Thames. Give up the rock & roll dream, lad: you’re a born sprinter.
Notable offenders: Sherlock Holmes, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Spice World, London Dreams, Sliding Doors
4. It’s not that picturesque…
Many tourists will come to London expecting to see nothing but a rolling utopia of bath-stone townhouses, friendly doormen, timber-framed taverns, jaunty minor royals, glistening cobbled alleyways, and daily teas at the Ritz. Many tourists will leave disappointed.
Notable offenders: Match Point, The Parent Trap, Berkeley Square, Paddington, Harry Potter