Black cabs are so iconic and beloved that you'll see people waving at them wherever they go… but they're not all ably helmed by the lovable cockneys that literally every movie ever would have us believe -- in fact, here are 15 counterexamples that you've almost certainly been in yourself.
Dude who gives you change in ALL COINS
Hint, bloody hint.
Nighttime Heart FM cab driver
You've just come from a club with music that sounded like a saucepan was being placed on your head and beaten with a wrench, and yet this is somehow worse.
The cab driver who has done your job and wants to give you career advice
Not to disparage cab drivers, but really? Career advice?
The air freshener could act as a chemical weapon
Glad to see/smell/partially taste that you’re looking after your cab. Please excuse me while I suffocate.
The driver with really bad BO
Oh God, please bring back air freshener guy.
The minicab driver who is using his iPhone as a GPS
Well, I guess that's probably fine, just as long as there isn't -- yup, incoming call.
Driver who likes taking unique shortcuts that take way more time
This guy is armed with The Knowledge... to get a higher fare.
Minicab driver who tacks on extra charges because they think you’re drunk
Explain how a trip from Camden Town to Angel costs £20? Please speak slowly though, because I am actually drunk.
Driver who gets mad because you don’t know exactly where you’re going
Here’s an address. No, I don’t know if it's on the right or left side of the road. Wouldn't it be crazy if that was your job to figure out?
Dude who once had a celebrity in the back of their cab
How will you tell when you're in this cab? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
Guy on Bluetooth who you think is talking to you
How am I? Pretty good, I'm just -- oh. Slightly embarrassed I was talking so long, that's how I am.
Guy who won't go south of the river late at night
Actually this one doesn't count. No one's been in this cab, because he'll only pick up people who he can drop off on his exact way home.
Driver with extreme political opinions that you just have to agree with for fear of him murdering you
What do I think about the European Union? Literally whatever you do.
Driver with fairly mild political opinions that you just have to agree with for fear of him murdering you
Have you seen Taxi Driver?? This is a legitimate concern.
Dodgy minicab guy using an actual A-Z
Just when you thought there was no way this could get more sketchy... tada!