If you live in London, you've already made some pretty good decisions in life thus far. To make sure you don't ruin your hot streak, here are the things you really need to avoid doing now that you're here...
This Sport Takes Ice Skating to Extreme Heights Flickr/Annie Mole 1. Getting on the Tube at 5pm at Oxford Circus
Unless you like waiting for 30 minutes just to get in the station.
2. M&M's World
looking at it. 3. Not buying a house before prices went apes**t
You know, back when no one was giving out mortgages.
4. Meeting your friends “by the lake” in Hyde Park
It’s a LOT bigger than you realise.
5. Making eye contact on the Tube
Prepare for awkwardness. A lot of it.
Flickr/Elwin van Eede
Not that they’re much better before, but at least we can help you figure out the better ones.
7. Standing on the left
Prepare to die.
8. Getting an unlicensed minicab
Uber exists. That is all.
9. Just trusting that there won't be engineering works this weekend
Flickr/robertsharp 10. Hitting Borough Market without the patience of a saint
This better be a
suuuuper casual shopping trip. 11. Getting the night bus, alone, without headphones
Drunken people now own your ear canals.
12. I'll just do all my Christmas shopping in town! On Oxford St! In one day!
Why don't more people think of this? It's genius!
13. Buying a danger dog from a cart after a night out
Smell: 10/10! Taste: wait, am I eating the wrapper? Repercussions on your digestive tract: plentiful.
Flickr/Fabio Venni 14. Running up the escalator at Angel
Mo Farah would consider quitting.
15. Going to a pub when a game is on if you don’t support a team
Or even worse, you don’t support the team that the pub does. Good luck, buddy.
Unless forced drunken singsongs are your thing. Then go ahead.
17. Tindering in Shoreditch after 2am
Captain Hindsight will have words with you tomorrow.
Flickr/Garry Knight 18. Trusting the weather
There was something about the rain at the Jubilee celebrations that seemed almost
deliberate. 19. Trying to find a table in Soho at 8pm, without booking
HOW long is the wait??
20. Forgetting to touch out
You just bought the world's most expensive underground ticket.
21. Paying up front for that flat you found on Gumtree
Skip the middleman! Go straight to the scam artist!
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