The 21 Worst Decisions You Can Make in London

If you live in London, you've already made some pretty good decisions in life thus far. To make sure you don't ruin your hot streak, here are the things you really need to avoid doing now that you're here...

1. Getting on the Tube at 5pm at Oxford Circus

Unless you like waiting for 30 minutes just to get in the station. 

2. M&M's World

Even looking at it.

3. Not buying a house before prices went apes**t

You know, back when no one was giving out mortgages.

4. Meeting your friends “by the lake” in Hyde Park

It’s a LOT bigger than you realise.

5. Making eye contact on the Tube

Prepare for awkwardness. A lot of it.

6. Going to any of the restaurants in Chinatown/Brick Lane after 11pm

Not that they’re much better before, but at least we can help you figure out the better ones. 

7. Standing on the left

Prepare to die.  

8. Getting an unlicensed minicab

Uber exists. That is all. 

9. Just trusting that there won't be engineering works this weekend


10. Hitting Borough Market without the patience of a saint

This better be a suuuuper casual shopping trip. 

11. Getting the night bus, alone, without headphones

Drunken people now own your ear canals. 

12. I'll just do all my Christmas shopping in town! On Oxford St! In one day! 

Why don't more people think of this? It's genius!

13. Buying a danger dog from a cart after a night out

Smell: 10/10! Taste: wait, am I eating the wrapper? Repercussions on your digestive tract: plentiful.

14. Running up the escalator at Angel

Mo Farah would consider quitting.

15. Going to a pub when a game is on if you don’t support a team

Or even worse, you don’t support the team that the pub does. Good luck, buddy. 

16. Getting on the Tube after a football match

Unless forced drunken singsongs are your thing. Then go ahead. 

17. Tindering in Shoreditch after 2am

Captain Hindsight will have words with you tomorrow.

18. Trusting the weather

There was something about the rain at the Jubilee celebrations that seemed almost deliberate

19. Trying to find a table in Soho at 8pm, without booking

HOW long is the wait?? 

20. Forgetting to touch out

You just bought the world's most expensive underground ticket. 

21. Paying up front for that flat you found on Gumtree

Skip the middleman! Go straight to the scam artist!

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