The 16 worst people watching the World Cup
The World Cup is finally here, and virtually everyone on the planet will be watching the games intently (except, obviously, whoever’s refereeing at the time)... which unfortunately means that there are going to be some terrible, terrible people watching too. Whether you’re at a pub, a friend’s house, or at home, these are those people...
The knows-the-job-better-than-Hodgson guy
Your insight into what England should be doing is astounding, but the telemarketing profession really couldn’t afford to lose you.
The hipster supporting an obscure country “you’ve probably never heard of”
“Actually, they pronounce it Cote d’Ivoire.”
It’s over man. It’s over.
“Sooo exciting! How many points do we have now?”
The irrational-hatred-of-the-Germans guy
You didn’t storm the beaches at D-Day. You were’t in the RAF. You desperately want a BMW.
The Germany fan
Curse them and their penalty taking abilities!!
The newfound friend
The moment we score, you will get to know Back-Smacker McMatey over here.
The has-a-stool-but-never-uses-it guy
He’ll just stand there the whole time flaunting it and occasionally, cruelly lowering towards it but never quite making contact.
The stone-cold pessimist
Three nil to us? “We’ll find a way to screw this up.”
Tall guy right in front of the TV
Unless you are Peter Crouch, crouch.
Person who stubbornly “doesn’t care about football”
Wants to enjoy his salad in peace, thank you.
The guy nostalgically blowing on a vuvuzela
HAHAHA -- shut up.
The over-emotional fan
You cry if we win, you cry if we lose... you cry if we draw? Does someone need a hug?
The disinterested partner
Dragged along, they proceed to become an energy vacuum sucking all life from the room as they fiddle on their phone, roll their eyes, and sigh heavily. This will be followed by the nagging response of “Can we go yet?” NO. YOU CAN GO.
The FIFA 14 player
You’re right. THIS is unrealistic.
Sure, you won some games. That doesn’t mean you’re not a tool.