27 things Londoners love

For the next few of weeks (or at least as long as we have a team in Brazil), the country’s mood will likely oscillate wildly between rabid patriotism and an intense kind of national self-loathing, all because we’re not the absolute best at the thing we invented. Well, at least here in the capital, there are a few things that will never let us down. Here are the things Londoners love...

1. Being the unofficial capital of the world
Everything from world finance to time itself centres on London.

2. (Having hosted) the Olympics
Before: oh dear God this is going to backfire so badly. After: we f**king rocked that.

3. Boris Johnson's hair
Also, occasionally, policies.

4. Routemasters
Don’t tell us that’s not one sexy looking bus.

5. Eating out
We have all, at some point, made the naive mistake of thinking we could get a table in Soho on a Tuesday night.

6. The Tube!
Well, maybe loving to hate it.

7. Discussing house prices
They went up 6% by the end of this sentence.

8. Free papers on the Tube
Print media found the one place in the city without (consistent) WiFi, and they literally give away the paper. Well, it works!

9. Footballing rivalries
Arsenal vs. Tottenham, Chelsea vs. Fulham, West Ham vs. Millwall... though that last one’s mostly about who has the most devastatingly insulting chant.

10. Milking Summer
If you see a glimpse of sun, the BBQ isle at the supermarket gets CLEANED OUT.


11. Burgers
We currently have three great burger joints... per capita.

12. Resident's parking permits
On the black market they cost the same as a kidney, and they’re worth it.

13. Having Europe just a train ride away
Not that people go, really. It’s just nice to know it’s there.

14. East London
A few years back, someone, somewhere, decided this was the coolest place on earth. They were right.

15. Gigs
If there is a piece of grass more than 30ft x 30ft, we will have a music festival there this Summer.

16. Shutting up on public transport
Also, no eye contact. It’s glorious.

17. Renaming skyscrapers ridiculous things and making the architects look like chumps
30 St Mary Axe... wait, you mean The Gherkin? Or the mobile phone?

18. Divides
North-South, East-West, Outer-Inner... we’re beginning to run out of dimensions.

19. Lobsters
At least, now that they’re affordable.

20. Parks
We have more green space than any major city in the world. There're even deer in some of it.

21. Tourists
Hahahahaha just kidding. They’re terrible.

22. Mexican food
2000: circa six Mexican restaurants. 2014: circa one million Mexican restaurants.

Jason Allen

23. Craft beer
And, naturally, it gets more expensive the closer it was brewed to you.

24. Hidden bars & restaurants
Speakeasy behind a bookshelf? Sign. Me. Up.

25. Bompas and Parr
They do insane stunts, which get you drunk. It’s great.

26. Fancy coffee
Apparently there is a difference between a flat white and a latte... just don’t let your barista know you have no idea what it is.

27. Ignoring the rest of the UK
If it’s outside the M25, it basically doesn’t exist. Hell, going to Zone 3 almost requires a passport.