Best: Most diversity
Worst: Most failing schools
On the plus side, the schools are failing the maximum possible number of ethnic groups.
Best: Best primary schools
Worst: Most drug misuse
Learning to count is just a gateway to learning to weigh, divide, and then haggle over.
City of Westminster
Best: Most valuable houses
Worst: Highest crime rate
Both of these stats are skewed by the fact that the Houses of Parliament are located here.
Best: Longest-running Nando's
Worst: Most people living in sheds
No, this is not a commentary on the size of an average London flat. Aided by exploitative landlords, migrants desperate for a bed will often opt for a literal garden shed. Near to a legacy Nando's.
Hammersmith and Fulham
Best: Most football clubs
Worst: Worst traffic
You think the traffic's bad now? Just wait until game day.
Best: Lowest teen pregnancy rate
Worst: Most overcrowded primary schools
Thankfully, it looks like that overcrowding problem should solve itself soon enough!