Sure, "you" may be all Mariah ever wants for Christmas, but (no offense) we've kinda got our eyes on some other stuff. Here're 11 things we'd be totally pumped to get from ol' White Beard.
1. A non-metered parking space a block from the ArcLight.
2. The next great beer bar: open now, just two blocks away from wherever we are.
This Chinese Festival Is Like 'Frozen' Come to Life
3. An 85-degree beach day that (ugh) doesn't start all foggy-like.
4. "And your traffic report at 545p -- looks like the 10 is wide-open from Downtown to Santa Monica."
5. A 24hr shawarma-and-pita spot. If this exists already, somehow we don't know about it. Let us know in the comments. Please.
6. A callback. For a paying gig.
7. Another secret Radiohead show at The Fonda. Only this time, we get tickets.
8. 2009 Kobe Bryant.
9. A legalization bill that actually passes.
10. To beat this goddamn Candy Crush level.
11. A pro-football team (kidding! We know you can't pull that off either.).