Christmas dinner is always predictable: ham, eggnog, you feeling SUPER AWKWARD around your first cousin. Also predictable? Someone asking if you're A) "married", B) "sure you like other guys", or C) "seeing anyone... no? You should totally go out with your first cousin!" To help you preempt any of these coming out of Grandma Ginny's mouth, we've got eight off-topic topics that'll keep them... off those topics.
1. The weather in LA
Talking Points: The high today was FIFTY-FIVE?!?!? Alright, here's what we're gonna do, you check to see if we've got an emergency rations kit in someone's trunk, and I'm gonna go put on a second tank top. I know, man, drastic times and all that.
2. The weather on the East Coast
Talking Points: Oh, f**k that.
3. Parking in Santa Monica
Talking Points: Yeah, no, I couldn't find one either.